What If?
by Oceanwind
Summary: Raven has questions dancing in her head and not all of them she can find comfort in. Written to help some writter's block. One Shot. RedxRae


**AN: **Hello all. This is a one shot of Raven and Red X. Rated T for safety because of language and mild fluff. I was having trouble focusing on a project for school and this was the result hahaha. Enjoy ;)

**What If?**

She sat silently in the night wondering many things and wondering what would happen. The what if's danced across her mind and she wanted to scowl but Raven Roth does not scowl. Raven Roth grins and smirks and smiles beautifully but never scowls or leers. She simply just didn't do it. What if she did? Again she felt her lip curl back over her teeth and she knew she was scowling, dammit that wasn't supposed to have happened so quickly. She should save her scowling for later when she needed it. She swung her legs over the side of the building. Enjoying the view of the moonlight dancing across the waves.

What if he didn't show? She silenced that thought immediately. Red X always showed up for their meetings and he was always on time. You would think that a man that had such a reckless reputation would arrive several minutes late for meetings like these but the man would surprise her every time. Every time he arrived right on the dot. Raven was just unusually early to this meeting no need to worry about him making it. Her stomach tightened and flipped nervously as she thought about seeing him. Seeing his handsome eyes that sparkled like the brightest emerald and his thick brown hair that swept lazily into his face would almost be too much to bear. She knew he would sweep her into his arms and try to kiss her out of her decision.

What if he tried to kiss her out of her decision? Then her hope of staying on the right side of the law was doomed. No matter how much he had claimed he had changed his aura and attitude still pulsed with impulses and it affected her. She couldn't be around him and not want to do something crazy and irrational… like kissing him. Like being in a relationship with him and sneaking out of Titans tower to see him at night. Like purposely avoiding him on her patrols so she wouldn't have to see what he was up to. Like running red lights and speeding when there was no emergency just to feel the rush. Like threatening a civilian girl at a bar that she saw flirting with him, that one had been the most recent and it scared her. Raven Roth wasn't the type to get jealous but seeing that blond haired bimbo hitting on him had set her on edge. Once she had _almost_ pocketed a pretty piece of jewelry she saw lying on her friends dresser, and that was what made her realize that she needed out of this. She didn't want to, but she could not be tempted. She had to stay on the lightest shade of the grey scale as possible. That was why she had joined the Titans, to fight criminals and represent the law. What good was that if she became what she hunted?

What if he wanted her to go with him? The thought of leaving the Titans was almost unbearable but she knew well enough that he would never ask her to choose. Just like she never asked him to stop being Red X she knew it was something he wouldn't ask of her. It was who he was and he would never be able to renounce his ways, even if he did stop doing criminal things he still wore the suit. He needed it to be closer to her, not an everyday average Joe could just walk up to Raven Roth and ask her out. She knew that was his logic and that was why she allowed him to keep it. Raven would have dated him anyways but she would never get the chance to admit that now. Not that she was now ending their relationship.

What if he went to Titans tower and told her team about them? That thought made her shift uncomfortably on the ledge of the building. She was breaking up with him to avoid that so there could be no confusion about whose side she was on. She knew her team would gradually accept him because she was happy (they knew she was dating someone just not that it was Red X) but the general public, the people that she fought for and protected every day? What would they think about her union with a criminal? By going to the Titans about it their relationship it would bring it to the public. No matter how long it was and how long the public was given to adjust it would forever slenderize her team and their image. It was just like high school in a sense once a rumor started there was no taking it back and it would take away from the effectiveness of her team.

What if she couldn't keep her argument when he got here? She knew she had to. She had only lost two arguments since they had started dating. One was when he asked if she wanted to kiss him and she said no, the other was when she denied that she liked him. Over a year and a half and things were so… complete. Her friends had yet to meet him and she kept promising she would. She just had to think of a way to get Jason to agree to it and not Red X but couldn't think of a polite way to represent it.

What if she lost herself after this? She shifted uncomfortably on top of the roof and took a deep breath. Calm ocean air greeted her and smoothed her for a second. She could do this. This situation was not like her other experience, she had been loved and it was a true genuine love and he had not used her in any sense. This was ending on her terms and she would move on and be happy. It would end gently and there was nothing stopping her from moving forward.

What if…

What if he hated her? The thought froze her mind and she could find no reassurance for that. She didn't want this to turn into a scream match and heated words. She wanted this to end like mature adults simply parting ways, but with Red X there was no way to tell. The thought left her cold and her stomach clenched again. This wasn't going to be as easy as she thought it was going to be.

She felt him before she saw him. His pulsing aura streamed with excitement and the need to do something rash but she felt those feelings from him disappear when he neared her. She had that effect on him she knew, she made his storm calm. She could feel his tender feelings towards her when he saw her. She let him come up behind her and wrap his arms around her gently.

"Rae," her nick name sounded like music coming from him and it sent shivers down his spine. What if he would always have this affect from her? She sighed and turned to face him for the first time.

He wasn't in his Red X suit.

This threw the whole game off. Her mind raced as she struggled to find the words to greet him and talk to him about this. She could date Jason if there was no Red X involved. She could stay and be happy with him. She would work on her emotions of rashness and this could work out. But what if she couldn't fix it? What if she kept doing bad things until she lost sight of what was right and what was wrong?

"Where's the suit?" she tried to joke but the words were strained. His green eyes were warm and they seemed to dance before her. He leaned down and wrapping his sturdy arms around her gently tilting her chin up to catch her in a kiss. She melted into his chest enjoying the feeling of his soft lips against her own. Always the swift thief stealing kisses she mused. She couldn't tell you how long they stayed like that.

He pulled away gently and whispered into her ear. "A little birdy told me your thoughts and I burned it," he kissed her again before she had the chance to respond. She couldn't be with Red X but she could be with Jason. She would work on those impulses and with him by her side she would know what was right and wrong. He gave up Red X and she knew he would help her through everything. After all he was just looking out for number one, only she was his number one now.

She would never have to question what if ever again.


End file.
